


Ghosts Are Real, And I Can Prove That Shit

by VampireSerana



Series: Quality Shitposts [3]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series), Ghost Adventures (TV)
Genre: Crytyping, Gen, Ghosts, if u take this seriously thats a personal problem not on us
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-13
Updated: 2017-10-13
Packaged: 2019-01-16 15:34:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12345531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireSerana/pseuds/VampireSerana
Summary: ;3c





	Ghosts Are Real, And I Can Prove That Shit

**Author's Note:**

> kill me

Uwu?

 

Uwu?

 

Shane DEADED towards the haunted house. He saw Ryan waiting for him on his phone? 

 

“Hey what’s up ghowls the boyz are here” Shane dabbed as he approched Ryan.

 

“Ryan fucking glared at him and oretended to stab him with  a fake knife except it wasn’t …. Fake …. It … real ….. :o The knife stabbed into Shane’s strong, built chest, thru the muscles and to his heart. Much like in life, all you get is stabbed in the heart. 

 

Shane started bleeding ouut on the sidewalk “WHAY THE FUCK RYAN”

 

Ryan started shaking. “I-i-ittt was aa  akggohhs stt oiim m  so sosory sshane-ee thtthe gghohst maadde mee ddo o  it i  idnddnt y meanan too nnoww evverytoene isis mandd aa t me ansnd tell;ling me,. Ttoo ki l.l mmy seldf. :((“

 

Shane stared at him in shock. “How the fuck did you say that shit outloud.” He asked, still bleeding from his knife wound. 

 

The blood dripping out formed a pattern on the side walk….. Slwoly it formed…….

 

69

 

“N-Nice.” Shane coughed, the amount of blood he had lost from the fatal knife wound was affecting his mentality.

 

“HSSHAnE!!” Ryan kneeled down besides his partner, “H-Hewwo???? Hewwo???? Swane awe you okay? <:3c uguu” His tears slowly fall down his check and land on Shane.

 

The big 69 on the sideway continued to expand, growing stronger an d stronger and bigger and bigger. Ayyyyyyy lmao

 

As the life fadded from Swane’s eyes, he pulled Ryan closer. “ I-I-I i have a secret.. To .. tell .. you.” 

 

“What is it shane? Did u cheat on me??”

 

As Ryan put his ear to shane’s lips, shane let out one final breath. “I’m the phantom of the skkkyyyy….” 

 

Shane fucking died. 

 

Ryan cried, “I’ll get revenge!! I’ll never le t this dewon get away wtih this!!!!!!!1”

 

Despite Ryans good intentuions, it took one night with t he best damn plate of Ghostie Raviolie™ and an epsiode of Ghost Adventures to forget all about the tramutic insident, that literally took place in the same room he was in  lik. Idk. 4 hours ago.

 

Zak Bagan looks into the camera, pointing directly at Ryan. “Your’e fucking pathetic, Ryan. Gett off ur ass and get revenge.” The show suddently resumed to normal, scaring to shit outta Ryan. 

 

Ryan gasped, “ZOMGGggggg, that was so scary! ): Muststve been the work of sum,,,,, DEMONS!>>!>!>! :o!”

 

The though of demons suddently reminded Ryan of Shane. 

 

_ “What’s up demons the boys are here” Shane would say. His good buddy Shane. He wasn’t scared of shit. _

 

Now he’s dead, Ryan sighed and went to bed. LEaving 

Ghost Adventures on so he didn’t feel so lonely :(((((((((((((((

 

~~~~~~ LE IN FLIGHT INTERMISSION~~~~~~

 

3 months later, Ryan and that other dude thats in some older episodes stand outside a hotel.

 

“Why the fuck are we here, Ryan.” The Ugly Hipster Glasses dude asks, annoyed to no end.

 

Ryan did the pose that the pretty  blonde chick on WHEEL OF FOURTUNE does with the board. You know. That pose. “This hotel has been reported as haunted lately! So we are gonna investigate!”

 

The ugly ass hipster dude sighed, “Isn’t this the hotel where Shane got stabbed. By you. He fucking died Ryan, show some respect.”

 

“Shane deserves no respect from me.”

 

Beard Glasses Hipster stares into the camera like he’s on The Office (US).

 

“What-fucking-ever dude, let’s go in.” 

 

Ryan and Hipster entered the hotel, the 69 blood was still stainning the sideway, reminding Ryan of all the good times he and Shane had. He sighed and pushed forward. 

 

As they entered the lobby, Ryan got out the ghost recording shit and started talking to the air. “If there are any ghosts here. … give me a sign … say something. “

 

They stood in silence for a good 42.0 seconds, until thery heard:

  
  


**_“HEY. FUCK YOU BUDDY.”_ **

 

They both jumped real fucking high. 

 

“WHAT THE FUCKCK” they shouted in unison. 

 

“I said, Fuck, You. BUDDY.” On the last word, the entire room shook.

 

“Oh my god , its just like a REAL Shinji Megumi TenSAy Game ™ ” Hipster asshole shouted.

 

“No one is gonna fucking get that reference, wrong demographic you fuckign elitist.”

 

“IT’s doesn’t fucking matter. Anyways WHO THE FUCK IS YELLING AT US??? WE’RE INNOCENT!!” 

 

“That...is where … you are wrong … my dear Ryan.”

 

Suddenly, a big fucking cloud of black mist floated down from the ceiling and started to take the form of a huamn …. Except … it wasn’t completely human

 

Within the black mist, the form of Shane Madej (I hads to copy and paste that becase i dodnt knwoz how to spell it :( ) formed ….. Except with A TWIST

 

Shane had snow white hair

and glowin green eyes

he could walk through walls

dissappear and fly

he was much more unique then the other guys

 

“S-sh-sHANE?????” Ryan yelle d at the top of his lungs. 

 

Shane grinned evilly. “Yes… it is … I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” He shouted, raising his arms above his head and summoning lightning from his fingertips, his dick, and his toes. The lightning crashed loudly beside them, disturbing the peace of the night. 

 

“This is the worst practical joke I’ve ever seen.” The hipster dude said flatly. “I had to go to COURT and help you PLEAD INSANITY so you wouldn’t LOSE YOUR JOB.” He waved his ahnds around. ”AND FOR WHAT? Cheap special effects? Lightning? From his  _ Dick?  _ “

 

Shane slowly raised his hand and awkwardly scratched the back of his neck. “I… I thought it was smexy~ :3c” How did he make the cat face irl? No one knew. That should have made it obvious he was a  _ DEMON!!!!1!!!!!1111 _

 

“Shut the fuck up this doesnt have to do with you.” Ryan snapped.

 

Ryan stepped towards the Shane-like figure. “Shane….buddy...amigo...I’m so sorry this happened to you. But looks like I proved ghosts are real take that you fucking  **DICK!!!!”** He shouted, jumping for joy. “I was right .. .all along, and all it took was killing you to prove it!”

 

“What?” Hipster dude asked with a dead voice and expression. 

 

Ryan beamed. “This was all part of my MASTER PLAN!” He said, looking at the confused and shocked look on Shane’s ghost’s face. 

 

“I killed him in a spot I knew there was EXTREME paranormal activity, where when murdered, people came back as ghosts! Since he didn’t believe in them, I decided to make him one!” Ryan said excitedly, then grinned menacingly. 

 

“And now… it’s your turn … hipster dude.” He said, taking out the same knife he stabbed Shane with. IIt still ha d Shane’s dirty blood on it, and the blade was itching to get new blood on it. 

 

Ryan ran forward, and stabbed hipster guy through the glasses, killing him instantly. He turned towards the camera.

 

“And you’ll believe, too.” He licked the blood off the knife and the camera cut to static. 

  
  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> kill me


End file.
